Sexual Abuse and Coercion

Many teenagers face some form of sexual coercion, whether through peer pressure, or actually being fed lines like “Don’t you love me?” from their boyfriend/girlfriend. Unfortunately, this pressure can take a more dramatic turn in the form of “date rape”, an increasing problem. It’s important for you as a parent to make sure your teenager is fully aware of the risks they face and that NOBODY has the right to force them into anything they are uncomfortable with.

How can a parent help their child or teen

As a parent, you need to help your child or teen understand what sexual abuse/coercion is and how they can protect themselves. Here are a few pointers:

• Don’t just say “be careful”. Be specific. Give them examples.
• Don’t warn them only about strangers, since offenders are often known to the child.
• Use proper names for sexual body parts. If your child can talk to adults more effectively, they are more likely to e taken seriously.
• Be sure they understand the difference between good and bad touches and that they always have the right to say NO to any touch they’re uncomfortable with.
• Encourage your child to tell you about any incidents, stressing the fact that you will always believe them.
• Teach them to be “street smart”. For example, you can make sure they know their address and home or work phone numbers, or you can use a family code word.
• Make sure they understand that even “nice” people, friends, or relatives can coerce them into dangerous situations.

What are the statistics on sexual abuse/coercion

Although you may not want to think about it, the statistics on sexual abuse/coercion of children are frightening:

• One in four females are sexually abused
• One in seven boys are sexually abused
• 45% of all children are assaulted in some way by age 18.
• There are more victims between the ages of eight and twelve than any other group.
• The victim knows the offender 85% of the time.

It is important to note that the victim is not at fault; assault is generally more about anger and/or power over others rather than sex, and it may also be about sexual desire and attraction using power. Many are at risk, and most assailants are not strangers to their victims.