Gender Identity Disorder- Living with the Wrong Body

If you’ve sometimes felt that your mind and body are of different genders, you may have a transgendered identity or transgendered leanings. A transgendered person is someone who identifies psychologically with the opposite gender. This is different from a transvestite, who feels a strong need to dress in the clothes of the opposite gender but does not wish to be the opposite gender.

Being transgendered is also different from being gay. While it’s true that many transgendered people feel sexually attracted to members of their own biological gender, many others do not. Even those drawn to their own gender tend to view themselves as heterosexual members of the opposite gender, rather than as homosexuals. Being transgendered is about how you experience yourself, not who turns you on.

“Trapped in the wrong body”

The condition called “gender identity disorder,” or dissatisfaction with one’s biological gender, is shared by many people in all parts of the world. While some of these people opt for surgery to change their gender, others may live all or most of their lives with the feeling of being “trapped in the wrong body”. Some people find their cross-gender leanings dissipate as they get older; for others, the urge to live as the opposite gender gets stronger with age.

Most transgendered people become aware of their feelings in early childhood. Many children experiment with cross-gender behaviours, a child with “gender dysphoria” (the clinical term for unhappiness with one’s gender) has a persistent and intense longing to be the opposite gender.

As you grow older, you may suffer as you watch your body develop as a gender that seems foreign to you. You may hate your deepening voice or broadening shoulders, or wish to tape down your growing breasts. Such feelings are normal for transgendered young people.

At some point you’ll probably want to tell the important people in your life like parents and friends that you’re transgendered. You may find it helpful to read the coming out  section for homosexuals, bearing in mind that your own coming-out process might be even more challenging - Many people will find it hard to understand how you could feel the way you do.

Set the stage

You may wish to set the stage for the discussion by stating that you have been having questions about gender and are working to sort them out. For example:

“Some people discover something different about their sexual orientation. In my case, the big discovery has been about gender. I’ve always felt more like a guy (girl) than a girl (guy). I’m now trying to figure out what to do about these feelings, and I’d like to talk about the possibilities with you.”

Because your sexual difference is less common and less understood than homosexuality, you may feel much more scared and isolated than gay teenagers. If you’ve reached adulthood without doing anything about your cross-gender leanings, you may wonder whether you’d be happier as the opposite gender. As you’re weighing your options, you’ll probably find it helpful to get support from people who know what you’re going through.

Support groups

Fortunately, transgendered support groups exist in all parts of the country. Many of these groups have programs for transgendered youths, and can help with advice about coming out and dealing with society’s disapproving stare. In addition to offering emotional support, these groups can help explore the various choices available to you as a transgendered person: living “in role” as a person of the opposite gender with the possible goal of gender-reassignment surgery (a sex-change surgery) in the future, living in role only part of the time (such as on weekends), or undergoing hormonal treatments that will make you feel and look closer to the opposite gender but stopping short of surgery.

Surgery

Changing your body through surgery is a drastic and irreversible step. It makes sense to give yourself time, think carefully and explore other alternatives, to make sure you’re not making a decision that you’ll come to regret. You will probably be required to live “in role” for a year or longer before your healthcare team will consider gender-reassignment surgery. While the wait may seem long to you, it makes sense to think carefully and explore other options before taking such a large and irreversible step.